Journeymen, Advocates, Fat Evangelists & The "Just Don't Know-ers"

If you have ever been overweight you have ran into the same things I have. People play important roles in our lives and journey towards fitness. Most of them are positive and life giving.  When it comes to being overweight I have 4 types of people in my life.

1. Fellow Journeymen - These folks are fighting the good fight as well. They are working hard and weight has been an issue for some time in their life. We understand each others struggles. We get why it is hard at times. We are there to support each other, encourage each other and kick each other in the pants if need be.

2. Advocates - I like these folks. They may have never struggled with weight but they have found a way to encourage you and empower you in your journey to loose weight. They don't judge you but we have given them permission to speak into our lives. This could be a good friend, spouse, trainer or whoever you allow to have this place in your life. This is usually earned, not necesssarily by how smart they are, but how they communicate that info and how they treat you as a person. They long to see you succeed.

3. Fat Evangelists - This person usually offers unsolicited advice on nutrtion and exercise. They see you are "fat" and their "fat-dar" goes off and they think it is their mission to help. When I lived in Denver I was looking to get in shape so I was gym shopping. After looking around and being self-conscious enough as a big guy walking into a gym I came out and BOOM. Fat Evangelist. Attached to my car window was someone's card. It read something like "Want to lose weight?" blah blah blah. I looked around and no other car had one. I was special. The fat guy. I have a few stories like that but I will save those for another day. These folks, as much as I know they are probably wonderful people, are irrelevant to me. They have nothing I want to hear although they feel they have much to tell me. You ever encounter these guys?

4. The "Just Don't Know-ers" - I don't want to use the word ignorant because that has such a negative conotation. It is the people who don't realize they say mean or hurtful things. I really give these folks a lot of grace. They may have never suffered with obesity and some of the insecurities it brings. I chalk it up to not knowing me or my situation that well. In the country I live in now I have never felt so mocked as an adult but I don't take it as people being bullies or mean. Some folks point at my gut and rub theirs with their hands as they laugh. Others will come up and grab my gut and rub it and laugh. They just have no clue and I think there are cultural cues I don't get. I would be a liar if I said there weren't moments my pacifism wasn't tested though ;)  If the opportunity arises I look for the moment to educate and offer my thoughts. I have started telling people it is impolite.

I have encountered all these folks in my life and you know what? I need them. The Journeymen and Advocates push me and encourage me and hold me accountable. The "Just Don't Know-ers" are wonderfully good people that I get the opportunity to educate and encourage. The Fat Evangelists remind me to be a better person. To treat others how I would want to be treated and they teach me patience and graciousness although I don't always win that one.

I share this because I am reflecting on how people have spoken life into me. Growth comes not just from sunshine but through the rain as well. People sharpen us. The Book of Proverbs says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." 

So don't let the tough people get you down. So in the same way our advocates and journeymen sharpen us, be sure to let those who might play a more antagonist role in your life make you into a better person as well.