The Clouds are Farting

My son is so afraid of thunderstorms. He always has been. Even this morning he saw the grey clouds in the sky and was so worried it was going to rain on his way to school. When he was younger he would crawl out of bed and sleep on the couch while we were awake if it happened to be storming out. Thunder is very frightening to him. I tried to convince him lightning and thunder were nothing to fear. I would tell him how I enjoyed watching a good thunderstorm. He was not interested at all. I would use the oldie but goodie. "Thunder is God or angels bowling." Yeah, not convinced. Then the other night I busted out, "Thunder is just the clouds farting." I watched as his little 6 year old brain processed away and then he just giggled and grin and ran off. Then 2 nights ago he was in bed and a loud, room shaking burst of thunder filled our apartment. He jumped out of bed and came running out. I thought he was going to want to lay on the couch with us and do a little whimpering. Instead he gives me a goofy grin, looks at me and says, "The clouds are farting!" Oh man...so that's what sticks? But he doesn't fear thunder as much now because he has an understanding...some what. But this taught me an interesting lesson about fear.

 Much of what we fear is because we don't know. We don't know what it is like to run a marathon. We don't try new experiences, foods or adventures simply because the fear of the unknown outweighs our willingness to step out. We feel we need to understand something before we can no longer fear it. We do the same with people. We are sometimes afraid to get to know people of other backgrounds, nationalities or even social circles because we are worried about being accepted or we have made our own assumptions about who they are. Or we think there isn't anything we can have in common with people "so different". Fear is a good thing. It is natural. It is what keeps us from doing something stupid or reckless. But many times fear is a liar and can become overwhelming and unrealistic. We fear it/them because we don't know. We need to push past our fears and embrace the unknown. Try something new. Talk to someone that seems different than you. See what is on the other side of the unknown. You know what happens if you don't, right? Nothing.

Fear can be crippling and keep us from embracing life and others fully. See the opposite of fear is not courage. No, courage is something done in spite of fear. I can still be afraid of soi dogs and walk down my street at 2 am if I have to. The opposite of fear is love. If we learn to embrace and love life, love others and love what is around us our fear will be replaced. It's not an easy task but it is a necessary one. As a young man I usually retreated from hard things, new people and experiences because I was afraid but the older I get the more I long to love Jesus, love others, love my life. I am doing things I never would have done before because I was afraid. I would have missed out on amazing friendships over the years and incredible life experiences (good & bad). Don't let fear keep you from loving life and loving others.


PS - I wasn't that far off on my definition of thunder. Thunder: a loud, explosive, resounding noise produced by the explosive expansion of air heated by a lightning discharge. - Dictionary.com

Having a Little Fun at My Barefoot Friends Expense

It's Wednesday. Lets have a little fun. If you live within the running world at all you might get a little kick out of this. Enjoy.

The Day the Music Was Reborn

Don't get me wrong Don McLean. I think we definitely suffered from the loss of Holly, Valens and The Big Bopper but music has suffered death once again. Now into my 4th decade of music and listening to music from my dad's generation I got to say we have suffered through a dark season recently. Suddenly everything is auto-tuned and digitalized. The Billboard charts lost their soul and sold out to commercialism and formulas. All we get is LadyMileyBeiberSpears shoved down our throats and told it is good for us. Soulless music deprived of anything artful, meaningful and just plain good. Country music just became rock with a fiddle. Rap just became about girls, making money and being awesome. Rock all but disappeared and I desperately await its return.

Don't get me wrong. There is still a jewel or two floating around out there. Reminders of what music once was. But good music had been dead and buried. Ladies and gentlemen let me tell you music has been resurrected. It has been resurrected in the form of modern folk music...yes...modern folk music.

My iTunes account is full of names like The Cave Singers, The Civil Wars, Mumford & Sons, First Aid Kit, Josh Garrels, The Mountain Goats, The Decemberists...and on it goes. That is barely scratching the surface. Music is rising again. Real music. Music that has passion, purity, heart and is really good to listen to. What a breath of fresh air. As I write this I am listening to Mumford's new album Babel. So good.

I do truly believe that these other genre's of music will find life again. One day. But I'm not waiting on them. I will go where there is life. I love old country, and the soul of rap music...and pretty much no pop music. Not since the 80's anyways.

OK I take music way too seriously. Maybe. Maybe not. I think music should tell us a story. It should tell us about the artist or the authors perception of the world. Just like painting, sculpting, composing or writing it should compel us and move us...not just ask us "what we gonna do with all that junk?" Good grief. lol.

Anyways. Check out Mumford & Sons if you never have before. Start with "Sigh No More" and move on to  "Babel". I haven't met anyone who has been disappointed. Peace.

Broken Cisterns

Disclaimer: This is not me preaching. This is me remembering. 

“My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
    the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
    broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”

Jeremiah 2:13

I need this reminder every once in a while. A cistern is a tank for storing water or an underground reservoir for water. You would see them all over Thailand where I live. It sustains life by giving water. So many times in my life I have tried to build cisterns to take care of myself and so many times they have failed me. 

One of the biggest ones is the way I cope with disappointment, anger, stress and pretty much any negative emotion. It has been my cistern for as long as I can remember. Eating. Growing up wasn't much fun for me I must admit. I was always the fat kid. There isn't one school picture that doesn't reflect this. Throughout elementary and middle school I was the butt of about every joke. At least it felt that way. Throw in a brief bout with body odor in 4th & 5th grade and a speech impediment that finally got dealt with in 6th grade, I was a mess. While I had some really good friends, there were days I just couldn't take it. What would I do? I would come home and thrash the cupboards and refrigerator until the pain and hurt was subdued by the euphoria of food. Of course this only perpetuated my obesity. But it was my coping mechanism. My cistern. And it was broken.

It stays with me into adulthood. While I have victory most days, this habit tends to creep back into my life and derail me. At one point in my life I ballooned up to 381.5lbs. That was my darkest moment; and my wake up call. 

Honeymoon 2004

Through the help of doctors, an amazing trainer, the encouragement of my friends, family and Jesus I have made it down to 240lbs. It is a long hard road. I struggle to get past this point because my broken cistern comes back to haunt me and tempt me and at times it wins out. Yet I don't want to trade in something broken for another busted cistern. See I have to remember that eating right and exercising, while important, will just end up being another broken cistern in my life. It will disappoint me and let me down. It has already. I suffered through injuries and disappointing performances that felt less life giving and more life sucking. I love it and it is a good habit to have but it isn't the whole of me.

I forget that God is my wellspring of life. He is the true life giver. He has restored so many broken pieces of my life and continues to do so. Wholeness is found in brokenness when I realize I can build cisterns, coping mechanisms in my life but they will let me down and disappoint at some point. I find I am at my best when I quit trying to handle everything on my own and allow God to be the sustainer of my life.  

Bonita Cafe 2012

I know not everyone who reads this blog follows Jesus like I do. Please don't take this post as preaching. I have been thinking about these words for a long time. I write this for myself to remember what Jesus said when He said, "“If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water...Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again,  but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

So my journey of fitness and health and running is all part of my journey of following Jesus. It's cool. Life is all connected. Jesus reconnected my broken pieces. I feel whole not because I am more fit, but because God makes me so. 

Saturday is for Garrels, First Aid Kit and The Man in Black

I don't have voices in my head. But there is always a song. A few songs really get me thinking about the journey of my life. I wanted to share a few with you. I don't run with music, but when I have a song in my head while running, it is usually one of these:

7 Something / รัก 7 ปี ดี 7 หน

I am a sucker for a good movie. What about you? I love movies that capture the heart and soul of an idea or an ideal. I love movies that speak to the heart of the things I am passionate about. Don't get me wrong, I love watching Hot Rod as much as the next guy, but I love a movie rich in meaning. Living in Thailand they released a movie earlier this year called 7 Something or in Thai, "รัก 7 ปี ดี 7 หน". 

It is a movie made up of 3 short stories by 3 different producers. The last story is a love story written around a marathon. Whoever wrote the script really had insider knowledge of the excitement, worries and fears of marathon training and running. If you ever get a chance, check it out. The other story lines are great as well. Here is a trailer:

What running movies inspire you? Or what movies inspire you to run?

The Inevitability of Injury

So I have been out of commission for about 3 weeks now. I have been suffering through what the doctors tell me is a heel spur. It is painful and swollen where the Achilles attaches to the bone. It's aggravating because the rest of me feels fine, until this injury starts to take its mental toll.

There are 3 categories of runners. Those who have been injured before, those currently injured and those who will be injured. It is the nature of the sport. We can blame it on the shoe companies for manipulating our running form with the style of shoes they offer. We can blame it on over training. We can blame it on not listening to our bodies. We can blame it on running from the street dog that looks like it wants to take a piece of your thigh. The truth is, injuries fall into all these categories plus many more. It is probably the worst part about running.

Not being able to run for the last 3 weeks has taken a toll on my spirit and emotions as well. It isn't that I am obsessed or addicted to running, but when something means a lot to you and is suddenly ripped away, it leaves a hole. Do you know what I mean? I have some really great days and other days I fake it. Some days I don't have the strength to fake it. But I have learned a few things about myself in this process.

1. My whole life is connected together. When one piece is out of whack it makes me "walk with a limp" metaphorically and literally speaking. I knew this before, I think. This experience just confirmed it.
2. It gives me the ability to encourage others. Some days it is sending a friend an email or catching up for lunch. It is going out to visit the running club even if I can't run just to show support. To stay engaged. My friend K told me that runners are very compassionate and understanding with each other because we have all been injured. It is something we all understand together. Encouraging others keeps me from throwing a pity party as well.
3. Lastly, it reminds me that my life is more than running. No doubt it is an important piece but my faith and family come before it. It helps me appreciate those things even more.

I will try to run a little tomorrow. I am probably about 90% better. I need to go give it a try and see how it feels. I know I have gained some weight back but not much. It's OK. We never "arrive" with running. We are always on a journey. I am way behind in training for the Bangkok Marathon but I will do my best and there are many running adventures to look forward to down the road.

Trail Running in Pattaya

This is just a short note to mention the great time I had a couple Saturday's ago on a 15k trail run with friends in Pattaya. My running group is an amazing bunch with quite an international feel. It was refreshing to get out of the city for the day. I was getting a bit of a bad attitude because I fell on a couple runs and I injured my Achilles. I went out and ran anyways when I probably shouldn't have but it was the best thing for me. I appreciate their friendship and encouragement a lot.

It was my best day in Thailand I think. God was looking out for me that day and so were my friends.

Here are a few pictures of my friends and I out running and playing that day:

The Magic of Lumpini

So I am working on a book right now. I need to get back into blogging. My apologies. Consider this my re-entry. I have been thinking of Lumpini Park this morning among other things and thought I would share an exert from my brainstorming:

Right in the middle of what feels like sheer chaos. In a city that is an all day traffic jam, bumper to bumper cars and buses, motorcycle taxis and scooters weaving in and out of traffic, sidewalks full of people, little shops and stands and more motorcycles, sits an oasis. A place that offers tranquility and an escape. This 360 rai (142 sq acre) Graceland is called Lumpini Park. It is like entering another world.

There are no cars inside the park. There is no smoking or soi dogs. It is a beautiful park full of trees and open space, a man made river and lake. There is a wide track that goes around the outer edge of the park with a couple paths leading through the middle of it. It is a place you go to see things you might not get to see in your every day life in the city. I had heard a rumor that the park was home to giant monitor lizards. That was hard for me to believe. But as I ran the park and started paying attention I started noticing these strange, prehistoric like creatures emerging from the water. It was really a little hard to believe. Here in the middle of the city came these huge lizards. The more time I spent in the park the more I noticed them. You can get incredibly close too! That is, if you want to get close. They are relatively docile and fun to watch. My 6 year old son loves going there to watch them and even feed them. Add giant catfish to the equation and it is almost like a free trip to the zoo.

I run early in the morning. The park opens at 5am. Our running club usually meets about 6:30am Sunday mornings. At that time of day the park is alive. There are people everywhere. It is a sea of people engaging in a myriad of activities. The track is full of walkers and runners and casual strollers. It would seem almost impossible looking at it that anyone can run there, but like a stream or river, it all flows together nicely. There are people in the grass having separate classes. Some are doing Tai Chi (I think), others are doing these beautiful movements or dances using either oriental fans or even swords. By the main gate there is an aerobics class happening. At times I have seen well over 100 people doing aerobics. I always smile as I pass the aerobics class. There are always people in the crowd making up their own moves or keeping to the back and just dancing. Hey if they aren't knocking anyone over, more power to them. There are pavilions and tables full of people laughing, talking loudly and eating. You can tell they are old friends and family by the way they cut loose with each other.

Then there is the “Lumpini Parade”. My first day in the park and with the running group we were greeted by these older Thai gentlemen. If you can imagine, there is about 30-40 of them all wearing a matching blue singlet. The gentleman in the front sets the pace; a nice slow pace. He also rhythmically honks a loud bicycle horn to the rhythm of his footsteps. As I entered the park these were the first guys I met. They waved me into the group and asked me to join them. Too nervous and still looking for the running group I just joined, I turned them down. It doesn’t stop them from waving and asking us to join every Sunday morning. I feel like these men have tapped into something. They found running as a community. They have connected to each other and built strong bonds. This is something I see the running club I am a part of moving towards, even in its early stages. But more than that, by their simple presence in the park I feel welcomed there. As a foreigner and someone still new to the country these guys have made me feel a part of the park and the larger community there. This group of runners, these bridge builders, have helped me see that running isn’t just about my physical health and well being but it is about others and embracing people as they are.

Lumpini is hard to describe fully though. It is more than the sum of its parts. My friend K-san calls it the "Magic of Lumpini". It is where I have seen on many days that running truly is a spiritual discipline. To be part of something so alive and vibrant engages the soul. It engages all our senses. It reminds us of God’s good creation and our place within it. It reminds us that our lives are connected together simply because we all bear the image of God and each person deserves dignity, honor, respect and love.

Like I have said before, God is waiting for us out there. He is waiting along the path. We are being called out and to something. Running can be just running or it can be more.

Do you have a place you run that carries that kind of significance to you?